new ebook available!
My new book, MAXIMUM SCENARIOS 2016, is done! A whole year’s worth of rants: Lists, anthropology, satire, skits, politics, metaphysics, and 260,000 words of essays.
Or, if you don’t support Amazon:
Free DL of the MS Word version
Just so you have some idea, here’s an excerpt from the table of contents:
I. PORN GUY CLAP-BACKS
II. STORES, FICTIONAL
III. DERISIVE NICKNAMES FOR PUNDITS
IV. Sexy etymology exercise #101:
V. CATCH PHRASES
VI. CURRENCY NAMES STILL AVAILABLE
VII. JACK KIRBY MACHINE NAMES
VIII. MARVEL WHAT-IF?!?!?!?!?!?
IX. MORE FAILED MARVEL ISSUE TITLES
X. IT’S ME! (entrance lines)
XI. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE MERCH
XII. OUT-OF-CONTEXT SENTENCE FRAGMENTS, EXCERPTED AGAINST THEIR WILL, FROM REVIEWS OF . . . THINGS
XIII. FALSE PUNS, VALTNEINES EDITION
XIV. 6 COMPLAINTS THAT SEX THERAPISTS HEAR ALL THE TIME
XV. ORGANIZATIONS OR JAPANESE CAT SOUNDS WITH SAME FIRST *AND* LAST LETTERS OF ‘N***Z WITH ATTITUDE’
XVI. IF RANDOMLY SEATED NEXT TO PARIS ON A PLANE, WAYS TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW IT’S HIM:
XVII. FALSE ANAGRAMS
XVIII. FAMOUS LAST WORDS
XIX. MORE USELESS ARTIFACTS
XX. ELDER GODS
XXI. CHILLING NOT UNLIKE THE PROVERBIAL VILLAIN
XXII. OMINOUS OR ODDLY COERCIVE NEW-AGE USERNAMES
XXIII. MARTINEZ DRUGDEALER MANSION NICKNAMES
(this goes on for 3,000 more words)
Please support me and tell a friend.
2 comments
2 Comments so far
Leave a reply
Yo!
Anyone knows if Schultz is still alive?
He’s still active on twitter: https://twitter.com/dadsyellinagain